To be fair, I guess I learned a lot of “life lessons,” which people tell me are important, so maybe we’ll give me some points back. Like:
- don’t pack one pair of heels when you are moving to the clubbing capital of the world for four months
- you can fall in love (with friends, men, countries, lifestyles) when you least expect it
- naked Greek men are not to be trusted
- even ones with drugs
- especially ones with drugs
- "I want to marry you" in broken English is code for "let’s bone in the parking garage outside the club"
- forget diamonds, bartenders are a girl’s best friend
- if the opera gets boring, wine bars are equally culturally valuable experiences
- chicken chips are surprisingly delicious — available at your local Parisian kiosk
- always bring toilet paper with you to foreign countries
- housekeeping is not available to deliver salmon lasagna to your room
- death by second-hand smoke is a myth because Cypriots chainsmoke a pack a day but aren’t people the healthiest in the Mediterranean?
- boys suck
- even 26-year-old boys
- don’t trust boys
- some people go running when under emotional duress, I imbibe fun beverages
- discovery: my body is physically capable of drinking heavily for 19 consecutive days
- your dog will always cuddle with you when nobody else will
- well maybe only when your dog doesn’t feel like cuddling with your mom
- trusting an intoxicated person with piggy-back transport is an exercise in poor judgment
- real jobs are overrated
- real jobs are underrated
- Cyprus is better than real life
- don’t dwell
- be nicer to your mom
If that wasn’t a year of growth then BY GOLLY I don’t know what is.
What’s your favorite life lesson of 2009?